The Empire of East Northwestern Dodo Are Pathetic Scum is a gargantuan, socially progressive nation, remarkable for its compulsory military service, punitive income tax rates, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, democratic population of 11.525 billion East Northwestern Dodo Are Pathetic Scumians are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The large, liberal, socially-minded, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Welfare, Education, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Giant Dodo Grave. The average income tax rate is 57.0%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The large but stagnant East Northwestern Dodo Are Pathetic Scumian economy, worth 199 trillion Oorcus a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a slick, highly efficient black market in Book Publishing, Woodchip Exports, Tourism, and Uranium Mining. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 17,339 Oorcus, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The people are famous throughout the region for their bleached-white teeth, criminals always seem to be forewarned of police raids, Leader has just been declared ruler of East Northwestern Dodo Are Pathetic Scum in an international press conference, and legislators toe the party line lest the Sergeant-at-Arms decide to conduct "truncheon practice" on the backbench. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. East Northwestern Dodo Are Pathetic Scum's national animal is the Iguana.

East Northwestern Dodo Are Pathetic Scum is ranked 107,409^th in the world and 157^th in Chicken overlords for Most Patriotic, with 14.36 flags saluted per person per day.